GOP: “Grand Old Pendejos”

Quoth the Amazing Willard:

My heritage, my dad as you probably know was the governor of Michigan and was the head of a car company. But he was born in Mexico, and, uh, had he been born of, uh, Mexican parents, I’d have a better shot at winning this. [Rich donors cracking up] But he was unfortunately born to Americans living in Mexico. He lived there for a number of years. And, uh, uh, I say that jokingly, but it would be helpful to be, uh … Latino.”

Yes, Mitt, if only you were a Latino! Voters only hate you because you are rich, white, out of touch, belong to a weird religion, have no mirror neurons and no idea what to do or say  about anything. But if you were Latino, man, all that would be forgiven!  

They say M’Lord Romney has 99 problems, but that just scratches the surface. I know the Univision hosts will be far more cordial to him tonight than he has been to the Latino community. How do you say “utter putz” in Spanish, anyway?

Speaking of Latino outreach issues, freshman Rep. Bobby Schilling (R-IL) made some rather “inarticulate” comments about Latino voters, basically calling them too ignorant to speak Spanish.  The panache of the subsequent attempt at “clarification” (doubling down on the insult by saying “What he meant was that one needs to master one language before one can acquire a second, and most Latinos are too stupid for that”) is typical of the jerkwads in the GOP lately.

We do need Transitional Bilingual Education (TBE) in schools, to be sure. TBE is aimed at helping get students that are not fluent in English up to speed quickly while also teaching subjects in the native language so they don’t fall behind. A member of my family spent some time as a welfare worker in San Antonio TX, where a large portion of her clients were native Spanish speakers. Their kids were receiving no TBE in school. This tended to limit learning in all subjects, with slower acquisition of English and stunted written Spanish, which was often rendered unintelligible by attempts to transliterate Spanish via a limited understanding of English spelling conventions. A more perfect recipe for creating an under-class I can’t imagine. USA! USA!!!

But of course, because TBE involves public education, immigration and “caring”, the GOP hates the idea. This should clench the case for also making Transitional Empathic Education (“How Not to Act Like a Total Dick 101”) mandatory  in GOP districts. It might even help them get some votes or govern effectively (parish the thought!).

Fun fact: The Middle East exists even when we don’t think about it! Amazing!

A Randy Newman stab from the past:  “Sail Away”. Welcome to America, okay? Thanks, form a single line, starting here…

Consider a single income, minimum wage family with one child: how many hours a day would they have to work to owe Federal Income Tax and earn M’Lord Willard’s respect??

I’d vote for him dead or alive: Mark Twain’s campaign promises from 1879.

On the Good Samaritan side of the news, 11 more billionaires join the Gates/Buffett charity pledge.

And just what the heck is a “Samaritan” anyway? It sounds like the set-up for a good historical thriller to me.

Chik-Fil-a claims they’ll stop funding anti-LGBT groups. Will the retrograde fundies all starve now?

Why would this be shocking? Oh, right, the dogma thing: this little papyrus says JC was married.

Our local super-church hit with a sex-with-minors coverup charges. Billy Joe is spinning in his grave now.

What could possibly go wrong? DIY biohackers: is Dr. Frankenstein their patron saint?

An awesome look at improvisation and innovation in DIY Syrian arms. Spurred by high prices in the traditional gun and arms market?

Gorillas captivated by a caterpillar. Who’s watching us watching the gorillas watching the caterpillar?

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