Dance of the Crackpots

With historic fame there comes the inevitable pressure for historic last words. Some, like Oscar Wilde, have managed to pull off a good final zinger (“Either that wallpaper goes or I do”), while others have had words put into their mouths post mortem. For instance,in reply to the priest who asked him whether he renounced Satan and his works, Voltaire is said to have replied: “This is no time to be making enemies”. That exchange never actually happened, but it wouldn’t have been a bad parting shot.

St. Mark of Twain penned a short yet morally instructive tale involving uplifting final words: “The Story of the Good Little Boy Who Did Not Prosper“. It should be annual required reading for grades K-Deceased.

Damn, I miss Ian Drury! His “New Boots and Panties” LP might have been the last actual vinyl I bought. If you haven’t seen the biopic of Ian’s life, “Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll” (2010) you are missing out. It stars Andy Serkis in one of his rare human roles, and he captures Drury spot-on. Andy is better known now for his motion-capture work as ‘Gollum’ in the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy and ‘Cornelius’ in “Rise of the Planet of the Apes”, so I’m sure S&D&R&R was a rare treat for him.

Department of Free-Market Grandchild Solutions: a Hong Kong tycoon has offered a $65 million “marriage bounty” to any man who can win the heart of his lesbian daughter. For that kind of loot I could squeeze out a grandchild myself!

Before Kubric’s “2001: A Space Odyssey” the bar for science-fiction SFX films was set by Ray Harryhausen, a fanboy that made good.

Rolling Stone began a recent article with this provocative lede:

“The first thing you need to know about Goldman Sachs is that it’s everywhere. The world’s most powerful investment bank is a great vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity, relentlessly jamming its blood funnel into anything that smells like money.”

Giving the vampire squids a bad name, they are! The vampire squid eats only the dead, unlike Goldman Sachs, which has to feed on the life-force of living things. Vampyroteuthis =  creepy, Goldman Sachs =  EVIL!!

Graham Hancock makes the case that politicians should have to drink ayahuasca 10 times. He’s more charitable that me, but okay. After 10 sessions with the ayahuasca if there’s still no empathy though, it’s time for a cold hemlock-tini.


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