Corporations are Evil People, Too, My Friend!

Some people rely on the transparently bogus Drudge Report or WorldNetDaily to supply their wild-eyed conspiracy theories, but there’s only so many ways they can claim that the president is a Kenyan Muslim that wants to burn your bibles, defile your daughters and steal your guns and give them to the U.N., and after that they really don’t have much interesting to say outside mouthing GOP talking points (like that the president is a Kenyan Muslim that wants to burn your bibles, defile your daughters and steal your guns and give them to the U.N.). Well, when I need more variety/laughs/utter bullshit, when I feel like the world is making too much sense, I just point my browser to Before It’s News. They really run the gamut from fairly straight news, reactionary political commentary to the DoD’s collaboration with Reptilian Aliens and how Michael Jackson and Elvis are getting along on Cape Cod. Sure, there’s a good portion of that patriopsychotic dumbfuckery (Depraved Disgusting Abomination Obama Pederast Incestuous, for instance) there too, but we’re talking the TRUTH ABOUT CORPORATE ALIENS, MAN! You gotta WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!!

That “Buddhist ‘Iron Man’ Stolen By Nazis Is From Space” is the best headline I’ve seen lately. How do you top that? Maybe he’ll jilt Jennifer for secret Batboy love tryst on UFO over Washington DC?

Salmon Rushdie’s excellent reflections on his post-fatwah life. I never did read “The Satanic Verses”. I’m still waiting for the movie.

Beachcombers Bizzarre History has a wonderful story about a secret Book of Mark containing some unusual Acts by the star of the show. One reader responded by saying that “if the post were about Islam and if Beach has embassies in the Middle East his ambassadors would be being publicly decapitated just around now”. No higher praise, eh?

All this freedom of the press reminds me of Tom Lehrer, who reminded us “You can’t be satirical without offending somebody”. One of the best singing math teachers ever!

Okay, now that panic over the coming Baconpocalypse is shown to be over-hyped, here’s a truly distopian future: a global shortage of disposable diapers looms! Hurry up, Space Borthers!

It sounds like NASA will see you on the dark side of the Moon. Manifest destiny, ho! Meanwhile, the Russians are beginning to wonder if they’ll ever see a new model-year.

The weather on Mars is at times suprisingly balmy, but you’d best wear a jacket at night.

The scientist that reported seeing more drowned polar bears than usual, Charles Monett, has been cleared of charges that he fudged his data. That didn’t keep him from being reprimanded for speaking the truth, though. The Obama Administration is really into information control, it seems.

Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute scientists publish a paper detailing how BP and other megacorps use the courts to hinder research on oil spills they’ve caused. I think that deserves another tax-break, don’t you?

In other BP scumdoggery, to fight charges of gross negligence, BP is trying to shift all the blame for the Deepwater Horizon spill to the blue-collar workers they killed with the explosion and fire. I think that deserves another tax-break, don’t you?

Noah Smith has compiled “EconoTrolls: An Illustrated Bestiary“. It’s fairly hilarious to the wonkish.

Here’s a nice survey of deep thought from the rightwing looney-bin. Some of it requires a lot of kool-aid to wash it down and even then it still leaves a bitter after-taste.

A dose of Krugman against the madness of crouds.

I heard a joke the other day: How is  9/11 not like a cow? Because after 10 years you have to stop milking the cow.


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